Tuesday, June 21, 2005

SOB!

Busy, busy, busy is what I’ve been for the longest time… and not all of the business has been excessively positive…. In fact, I don’t think any of it has been positive. However, as usual, some of the stuff has been, though negative, rather amusing on retrospect.
It’s all about damned college applications, as of now. All day I’m running around trying desperately to complete applying. Why, you might ask, do I have to run about so much whilst my fellow students manage to do it all neatly in a span of 2 days? Well, simply cos, I’m too smart for words. One of my major choices in courses has been English, and that choice is exactly what’s messed my life up royally!
I had mentioned earlier that I was applying through the centralized ICR form. Well, unfortunately, I possess no patience whatsoever and refused to read the prospectus of DU carefully enough, and yes, only later, after all the registration dates for English were over, did I discover that most colleges weren’t accepting ICR forms for English! Well, boo and bullfrogs! There went my entrances for Hindu and Miranda! Blyeh! And I wasn’t meant to make it to the Stephen’s cut off for English anyhow, though I made it to History and Philo (with utmost aplomb, might I add!)… LSR and JMC…. literally by the skin of my teeth did I manage to apply for their English entrances. With only ½ an hour to go in LSR before the counter closed and about 2 hrs in JMC before the curtain fell! Gees! And was I ever relieved to find out that Hansraj and Venki don’t have entrances for English and only need cut offs! Damn, for a while there, I felt that I’d probably land up doing Anal Chemistry in Mata Sundri College for the rest of my life!
For the record, I have managed to apply for the rest of my courses with no hitch! Anyhow, Kaybee is back after a long time, and if you want a detailed description of the lunch she ate at my place, you might as well check out her blog. Zaffy Duck is currently rather pleased with himself after having made it to both the History and Philo interview lists for Stephen’s. I met up with Akshay recently and we went on a “date” to Ansal’s and had a great time. I fed him Cotton Candy (which he wolfed down with such speed, one would be forced to think that he’d been starved and kept trapped in an underground prison for a very, very long time) I also gifted him a glass of fresh mausambi juice. All in lieu of the 50/- rupees I owed to him for a Barista Smoothie! And in return, the darling boy wasted 5/- by putting it in a slot machine, turning the knob with immense gentleness and procuring for me ONE chewing gum! Honestly, if I kept track of the amount I owe Zaffy, by now I would be gifting him a house!!!! Akshay, learn my sweet. Know how to treat your girl! Bah!!
Chalo now, I’m bored and grumpy and it’s horribly hot, so bye!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Gush and Gosh!!

I hadn’t started blogging the time my geyser burst, or else I’m sure I would have written about it earlier. The bright idea of posting it here was given to me by Akshay, to whom I owe many thanks, apart from 55/- for a mango smoothie…
Yes, the day my geyser burst. Truly, a very memorable day. That day, out of all the days, I had chosen to wash my hair. So, in I went and obviously disrobed myself and, was about to begin my bath, when suddenly there was this terrific bang and horrid browny and steaming hot water started pouring out of the geyser, forming a hot, opaque waterfall around my basin. I stared in dismay, all ideas of washing my hair gone with the wind! And suddenly, I realized that the geyser switch was still on. Gauging that this could be a rather dangerous situation, I looked around for my clothes to be put back on. Unfortunately, the dratted things were in the washer and were already drenched. Acting on impulse, I wrapped my towel around myself, let myself out of the bathroom and gave out a holler of warning, “GEYSER!” which seemed to have the same ring to it as “TIMBER!” That did it. My mom and dad rushed out of the bedroom and the study, respectively, to see what the commotion was all about. There I was, clutching at my towel for all I was worth, yelling and jumping up and down, telling random people to switch the geyser off. Meanwhile, to add to the bedlam of voices and gushing water, my dog started barking frantically and the maid came rushing out of the kitchen clanging quite a few vessels together at the same time and muttering nonsense about burning dishes and the works!
So, there my whole merry family had collected, in front of the bathroom, yelling and barking, and screaming and shoving and, no one really doing anything to stem the flow of the water…. then good sense seemed to prevail over my parents in general and they started talking in terms of switching the geyser off, while the maid retired to the kitchen yet again! What could I do? I decided to behave as though my parents’ had hit upon the most wonderful solution, rather than trying to explain to them that I had been trying desperately to din precisely the same thing into their heads all this while. Now another problem arose. Who was to switch the geyser off? My mother refused, for she had just bathed. My father refused, for he had to go for a meeting and wasn’t willing to get drenched. The maid refused, for she had peas to fry. The dog refused, for she didn’t have a choice. So, hopping and skipping around with impatience, I decided to put the geyser off myself. Armed with a long stick, I attempted to push the switch. This feat, unfortunately, could be accomplished only with the use of both my hands. Net result, I was doing this maha-balancing act in trying to switch of the geyser, keeping my towel from falling and preventing myself from getting electrocuted. Not much help came from my family, with dad yelling to watch out for a shock and mom yelling to watch out for my towel. Finally, after a few attempts- mission accomplished, although my position was rather strange with myself on tiptoes and bent at weird angles to prevent the towel from revealing what lies beneath…
Talking of slipping towels, there seems to be a close relationship with my nudity, English exams and male friends! Invariably, for the past two years just before our half yearlies, I got either frantic phone calls or frantic messages from my boy friends just after I came out of my bath and was in the process of donning some clothes. The former happened in class XI, one day before the English exam, when I was forced to explain the Merchant of Venice Act II to a very close friend of mine on the phone, confined in my room, in the nude! The next was when I got a message in class XII, one day before the English exam, from another very close friend. A message which read, “Call me quick, ASAP” Thinking that some horrid misfortune had befallen him, I hastened to call him only to find out that he wanted the format of a formal report…and all that while I was shivering uncontrollably in front of the heater, confined in my room, in the nude!!!!
Don’t be too horrified, I beg of you….

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Applications and Analysis

College applications have begun, and I have, as is obvious, started applying. After standing in this gigantically huge line at Gargi College for well over an hour, I managed to procure an ICR form. Manxy, very sweetly, tried to reduce my discomfort and, being further ahead, in the line got an extra form for me to save me time. Unfortunately, I needed another form, so I had had to stand in that wretched sweaty line, in that wretched sweaty college anyway! The college is, by far, the dingiest place I have come across and I have yet to see a place that needs more repainting than Gargi… After, finally, getting the forms, my friends and I decided to get something cold to drink at Café Coffee Day just across the road… Alas! That was not meant to be. We entered a relatively full Café, only to find that the guy there was extremely reluctant to take any orders. So slowly but surely, the relatively full café became relatively empty. When our parched throats could take it no longer, I went and demanded to know why the guy wasn’t taking any orders. He just popped his head out of the kitchen and nodded sagely at me mumbling something about “sorry” and “five minutes more”. Well, lots of five minutes came and went, as did lots of sun-dried couples. But, the guy never emerged from the kitchen. Though the café was absolutely empty, we doggedly stuck on, waiting for our order to be taken, dreaming of Mango smoothies and whatnot! Time arrived for a second inquiry. This time, all I could get him to do was to shake his head. That was it. What could one do? Our thirst unquenched, we gave him one last beseeching look, gathered our forms and left…Sigh!
Well, so where was I? Ah yes, the ICR forms! So, last night, we were going through the various forms and prospectii(?) of the colleges, when mom came across a list of colleges and their courses. While going through it, my mom randomly went into a sudden fit of laughter. For a long, long time she couldn’t stop laughing. With great difficulty she controlled herself and declared in a tremulous voice,”Mata Sundri College teaches Anal Chemistry!!” and promptly went off into peals of laughter the next instant, clutching her sides, with tears streaming down her cheeks! On closer inspection, after intense scrutiny, Dad and I figured that all dear old, innocent Mata Sundri College was offering was a course in analytical chemistry! However, DU has gotta learn that after an abbreviation one puts a full-stop and that analytical chemistry shouldn’t read as Anal Chem!!!
Well, that’s about all I really wanted to pen down! Apart from my mother singing around the house like a banshee, nothing else of particular interest has been happening lately!!

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Beggars CAN be choosers!

The famous saying “Beggars can’t be choosers” was proved wrong to me in quite a ludicrous way the other day. While sweating it out in an auto, in the heat of Delhi, in the peak of the afternoon, I was victimized by one of the many beggar children who haunt the traffic lights areas of Delhi. Apparently, the newest “in” tactic for these kids to earn money, is by praising the “customers/ victims”. So, I was poked on my thigh by this little girl with scruffy hair who seemed to have taken a fancy to my auto in particular and refused to leave. She continuously repeated in a monotonous and particularly nasal voice,” Didi aaj aap bahut achchee lag rahe hai! Aapke kaan ke jhumke bade achche hai!” All this was said with utmost vigour and at a rather high decibel level and was accompanied by the thigh-poking. After a while, when the jabs became increasingly persistent and painful, and the praising became more and more raucous, I took out my wallet and gave her a 2 rupee coin. To my amazement, she held it in her hand for a fraction of a second before returning it to me. She literally seemed to fling it at me while her face wore an extremely offended look and she proclaimed “Didi itna kam nahi chalega!” And with that she stuck her nose up into the air and walked off in a huff just as the light turned green. She apparently didn’t think the payment for all her efforts was satisfactory!
I also witnessed an equally humorous event some time back. Also concerning a beggar. However, this beggar was an adult and faked a broken leg, Parkinson’s disease, and a gazillion other ailments. Now, as usual, at the red light, he chose one car and moved in for the kill. Here’s the twist. The man in the car rolled down his window and showed the beggar a 100-rupee note asking him if he had change for it. The beggar calmly took the note, delved deep within the depths of his shirt pocket and exchanged it for two fifties in such a matter of fact way, that he might have been a banker for all I know! After this financial transaction was over, the beggar was given a rupee coin and he went on his way as happy as a lark!!!
Today I went to see a “horror” movie- The Ring Part II. I went only cos I was gonna meet Akshay after the longest time and also it was a morning show so the ticket was cheap!!!
Anyhow, this film was as far from horror as it gets. It involved a little boy who was possessed by this half ghost half alive girl called Samara whose mother tried to drown her. And consequentially, to rid the little boy of Samara’s soul his mom tried to drown him! The drowning seemed to perpetually take place in the bathtub and the scariest scenes were the bathroom scenes! I swear it should have been called “banshees of the bathroom” or “horrors in the urinal” or something! This Samara girl-ghost-dead-zombie-like thing was another story altogether. She was drowned in a well where she didn’t die properly and then seemed to have identity crisis and there was a part when she had to scale the walls of the well and one could swear that she had lizard blood in her…You should’ve seen the way she leapt about! And when she spoke though, one realized that robots definitely must have had a part to play in her parentage! Basically, it had a lot to do with drowning and somehow, there was a lot of water in the damned movie! Conservation of resources was definitely not on the filmmaker’s mind eh?
Oh boo! It was not scary but was rather weird…I did manage to lose my afternoon sleep over it, apart from the fact that I had to go somewhere too…
Chalo then I shall take your leave. Just a word of advice, NEVER drink at Passion My Cup of Tea. Everything tastes as though it has tea in it….like chocolate milkshake with tea or caramel custard with tea! Eeyuck!

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