Wednesday, January 03, 2007

It's an illusion!!

There is an almost imperceptible glimmer of hope in my eye as I write this blog entry…I’m hoping against hope that someone, some wayward blog wanderer may stumble upon this. And if you do, and if you’re reading this, kindly redirect your gratitude and compliments to Skarans, who has been my sole inspiration in writing this entry. Now, before this becomes an Academy Award moment, I shall proceed.
I am currently in Kolkata, visiting my parents (no! I’m not married). Just that it’s difficult to call Kolkata home when I’ve been reared in Delhi. My vacations have been quiet. Too quiet. Reasons being many. Number one, I have no friends here courtesy the aforementioned dichotomy. Number two, Kolkata is the favourite hang out of retired army colonels and a rich variety of senior citizens. Number three, the current primary concern and, therefore, predominant topic of Bengali conversations (apart from food) is the delicate state of Mamata Di’s health. Personally, I am convinced that someone had been slipping her some fish throughout her ‘fast’. For, there is no other plausible explanation as to how a massive body like hers, which is so accustomed to guzzling humongous quantities of food, could survive this sudden deprivation!
So far, my vacations have been spent, if not excitingly, definitely eventfully. The first night I had to stay awake for midnight mass. Now any other time, I love the warmth and peace of a church. Just that, on this particular night, the warmth, peace and quiet at the unearthly hour of 1 in the morning in the church made me overwhelmingly sleepy! Not to say that I didn’t enjoy the sermons and the hymns and the ushering in of Christmas. Only, this time, the appreciation was dimmed by a drowsy haze. My father, who has a little less self-respect and inhibitions when it comes to holy matters, unabashedly fell asleep in church! It was only when a gentle snoring began did my mother, to her fuming indignation, realise her spouse’s apparent blasphemy!! The reason behind my sleepy state, though, was the fact that I had slept a grand total of say 10 hours in the past week. It’s called exam time and the acute terror produced by absolute ‘cluelessness’!!
The second earth-shattering, season changing event that has taken place so far has been my position of office. We’re shifting house. My mother, in a fit of benevolence, decided to appoint me chief – instructor – and - overseer of bathroom fittings! So, the better part of two days, I spent exploring the bathroom showrooms of South Kolkata, rummaging for commodes and matching faucets! I tell you, my life is the epitome of excitement! My new year’s eve was spent in a vain attempt to party. I must realise that there is no possible way I can successfully party with people who are all on the sadder side of 50! And, much as my mother may insist, her friends are NOT my friends and NO, I CANNOT dance to hip-hop numbers with them!!
There have been consolations though! My friend is apparently having a worse vacation than me! And she’s in Goa! The catch being, she’s in Goa alone with her parents! Therefore, she cannot shamelessly letch at guys and must smile politely at random acquaintances! There is, apparently this one acquaintance who has attached himself to her parents with the determination and tenacity of a leech! She frequently refers to him as ‘the obnoxiously boring fart’! This fellow, who plagues the entire family, has not left them alone for even a single evening! However, the peak of hilarity was when my friend mentioned she was spending New Year’s Eve with him and the songs that were playing were “you fill up my senses” and “I’m on the top of the world”!! Her life is a horrid combination of irony and irksome characters!!
On the up-side, my mom’s knitted me a fabulous sweater, I’ve caught up on missed family gossip and lost (after the unfortunate midnight mass) sleep! I have looted my parents and have gorged on home-cooked food. I have derived sadistic cheer from the fact that I’ve finished my exams and that my friends must slog!

Incidentally, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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